Sunday, October 15, 2006

'The Midautumn Cake Massacre'

See that cake? Looks good? Probably tastes just as good. But cake can be more than just cake ...

This is based on a true life event.

It was an evening in October. It was warm, humid and bright. A blanket of haze hung over the ground, blurring vision and veiling the people that passed by. It was a prelude to an evening that started out innocent enough - a gathering of friends, for a midautumn celebration ... or so it seemed ...

11 people, and a cake, with 'murder' on their minds ...

The Dinner

Our story began some weeks before the event. The principal character, the organiser, Mr Leeky (names in the story have been changed to protect the identities of those involved), had arranged a celebration dinner, a pot bless, and invited his friends to also celebrate some of their birthdays and have a 'lantern walk'. The festivities started slightly behind time, 7.30pm, and by that time, the sun had set and the last of them entered the house. The sky was ablaze with streaks of crimson and amber ... shades of a day coming to an end. Dinner began with the usual happenings, the welcome speech, the conventional ice breaker and then a short prayer before dinner. Dinner was then served ...

As the evening wore on, the 'murder weapon', the seemingly innocent cake, was still sitting dormant in its red box.

What followed was the lantern walk. Festivities subsided and many guests left by the time the clock chimed 10pm.

And then there were 11

The final eleven made themselves comfortable after dinner with small talk and the usual rounds of jesting. Among them were: Messrs Leeky Ow, Jerome Lu, Eron Pwah, Eron Tame, Vanessa Young, Lea Yan, Ham Woo, Kent Chu, Jeah Hseen, You Gene and Angelica Ang.

Now Leeky had organised the dinner in full knowledge (and courage, I may add) that some of his guests may exact 'retribution' on certain attempted or succesfull pranks he had masterminded in the past. Taking his ostensible leave to send a friend home, he exited the scene, unaware of what events would take place in his absence.

A conspiracy

Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive ...

Messrs Lu, Pwah, Chu and You Gene came together to hatch a plot to 'get at' Leeky, on the occassion of his birthday (which actually was months away). The weapons? An almost empty bowl of 'Hokkien mee' and the cake. White and creamy, it was the perfect foil to the brown mee. The three waited outside, ostensibly to ambush the unwary Leeky. You Gene lagged behind carrying the punch bowl almost full of orange drink.

The wait lasted a few minutes ... oh poor Leeky ... but wait. It was not Leeky that would taste food (um, feel foodlah) first, but the unsuspecting Kent. During a conversation, Kent was distracted and Jerome struck ... it was over in a flash ... big splashes of brown sauce and mee fell to the ground. The source? Kent's head. Triumphant in turning the tables (the turncoats) Jerome and Eron laughed and laughed, Eron running into the house. To add salt to his wounds, You Gene approached the 'wounded' Kent with the punch bowl, turning back for a moment to call for reinforcements (the bowl was heavylah).

'It's either you or me' thought Kent, and before he knew it, You Gene was drenched with the very orange juice that he intended to pour on Kent. The hunted had become the hunter ...

Kent made his way into the house, to be greeted by laughter from Eron and Jerome, and headed straight for the cake and then to Jerome - it was done - cream fell on Jerome's hair ... a small struggle ensued ...

Leeky returns to a gambit

Leeky, blissfully ignorant of what had just occured, aproached the house and saw fruit pieces on the porch's floor. He warily entered the house. Everything and everyone seemed as normal, chatting, eating ... but aha ... Jerome's and Kent's hair were freshly washed.

'Hmmm' ...

What followed was typical of a game of chess. Everytime anyone of the original four moved, Leeky would counter move. Like a pawn moving amongst the rooks, bishops and knights. His way of escape closed, Leeky then had no choice but to sit amongst the hunters ... a pigeon amongst cats (haha).

Kent went to the porch to clean up the mess.

Inside, after a while, Jerome lured Leeky into a sense of security ... laughing ... Eron crept up behind Leeky, Leeky turned ... too late ...

Eron, made his retreat to the porch, his hands full of cream, having done their work. He passed Kent and bent over to wash his hands at the garden tap ... a mistake?

The opportunity was too good to miss ... a surge of cold water from the punch bowl fell on Eron's back ... it was now Kent's turn to laugh.

Pax ... or was it?

Pax means peace. Declarations of peace filled the living room.

Jerome, in a flash, dipped his hand in to the cake and Angelica was a next victim.

Kent from the kitchen, could afterwards hear screams from the living room ... uhoh ... what was happening? Lea and Vanessa then burst into the kitchen and ran straight for the washroom ... it seems someone else had made them victims of the cake. You Gene followed, also with cake cream on his clothes, and in the washroom, a water fight began ... it was not pleasant ...

And then there were 3

The remaining: Eron Tame, Jeah Hseen and Ham Woo.

'You are among the only ones still clean. Are you afraid?' Eron Tame was asked. He was brave ...

Soon, a hand swept into the cake and Eron became a statistic.

Eron Pwah signalled to Jerome that Jeah Hseen should be next. After all wasn't it Jeah Hseen who stated earlier that he had extra clean clothing and even generously offered it to Kent upon the Hokkien mee disaster? Jeah Hseen joined Eron Tame too ... smeared on his hair and shirt.

One more. Kent conspired with Eron Pwah:

'Our host ...'

Eron understood ... walked cooly pass the cream cake and patted some cream on Ham. Eron, ran outside the house laughing.

Ham, then took some cake and made for Eron, but as it turned out, his hand landed squarely on Kent. Aahhhh ... he knew ...

The 'cake' bath

The events of the evening spared no one, not even the house. Oh the tragedy, oh the agony ... of cleaning up.

One mop, 11 people.

Well, eventually the house was cleaned ... hiding all traces of the 'massacre' that just took place.

Leeky's words

'There is always a next year' Leeky grinned ...

'Yes Leeky, we can always start fresh, all over again' Lea Yan spoke ...

'Always next year ...'

Oh what a night ...

Hahahahaha ..... I hope you enjoyed my recollection of the evening's events. Not everything is accurate though, just what I remember. Wow, truly what a night. We all went home, smelling of cream and looking 'fairer'. Most of us had cleaned up though ... but the memories will still be with us.

God bless you Lik Ee for organising the potbless.

We had fun.

I only hope no one harbours any ill feelings ... sorry once again Humphrey for messing up the house ... we did clean it well hoh?

:)

God bless you all.

6 comments:

Ou Lik Ee said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Ou Lik Ee said...

Hey.. Messrs Kent.. don't lah say until like that.. Make leeky pai seh only... =P

nascaremperor said...

hehe:) dis regard leeky;)

this post's great:D..looks just like a chapter out of an agatha cristie novel;)

lov the pseudonyms u gave us!

agape,
jhsien

nascaremperor said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Ken said...

Hahah ... I am glad you guys like the story.

God bless you all.

adri-enne said...

couldnt agree more simmy, i can really imagine d entire 'massacre' as u call it.

n yes, d sight of a girl gigglin a lil hysterically in d com suite is quite disturbing. :D

take care all. u 2 simmy!

adryn

*reluctant 2 continue studying..*